Algorithm Accurately Predicts Which Email Will Make Recipient Close Laptop and Stare at Wall

SAN FRANCISCO — An enterprise software vendor has unveiled an algorithm that predicts which incoming email will cause its recipient to close a laptop and stare at a wall, allowing employers to classify the pause as a measurable stage of the communications pipeline.

The system evaluates 600 signals, including the distance between 'quick question' and the first attachment, the number of colleagues introduced with 'looping in,' and whether a resolved issue has been returned to the group for visibility.

Its strongest predictor is an email asking for the latest version of a document attached to that same email. Messages beginning 'Not to reopen this' are assigned a provisional wall-staring interval before the remaining text is processed.

'Previously, managers could only see that someone had stopped typing,' a company spokesperson said. 'Now they can see that the person has reached the natural conclusion of reading.' A dashboard displays the estimated distance between the employee and the nearest exit.

Customers can configure alerts when a message threatens more than four minutes of motionless reflection. The default intervention is an automated follow-up asking whether the recipient has had a chance to look, which the model recognizes as a second incident.

An optional executive package rewrites triggering emails into calmer language without changing the request. In a demonstration, 'We need this rebuilt by tomorrow' became 'There is an opportunity for the team to reconnect with the work this evening.' The predicted pause increased by 18 percent.

The vendor said the feature would be included in all workplace plans. The announcement was sent at 4:58 p.m. with a request to confirm receipt.