Town Council Grants Fog Zoning Board Seat in Unanimous Vote

By Our Meteorology Correspondent · October 4, 2026

The Oakhaven Town Council voted 8-0 on Tuesday evening to appoint the local fog as a voting member of the Zoning and Planning Board, citing its proven ability to obscure development timelines and reduce public attendance at hearings.

The council president described the decision as a 'logical extension of existing municipal resources,' noting that the fog had already been informally utilized to clear backlogs by discouraging resident participation. 'It sits in the back row, it gets cold, and people stop talking,' the council president said. 'We simply formalized the arrangement.'

The fog, which has occupied the vacant seat on the third row of the council chamber for three weeks, was officially welcomed into the body during the final agenda item. It did not respond to roll call but caused a temporary malfunction in the room's humidity sensors.

The zoning board chair expressed relief that the new member would help streamline complex applications. 'When a developer proposes something overly ambitious, we just wait for the fog to settle on the proposal,' the chair said. 'The document becomes illegible within minutes. It is efficient.'

Legal counsel for the town confirmed that the fog meets all eligibility requirements under Municipal Code 14-B, which states that any entity capable of occupying physical space and possessing a distinct atmospheric pressure may serve as an elected official.

The fog’s platform focuses on 'low-impact growth' and 'strategic ambiguity.' It has not yet released a position on the proposed high-rise project, though several council members reported feeling a sudden chill during the debate.

Opposition to the measure was minimal. One dissenting vote was recorded by one councilman, who cited concerns about equipment corrosion. His vote was overridden after it was noted that the fog had already dampened his notes.

The town has issued a press release advising residents that future meetings may be difficult to attend due to 'reduced visual clarity.' No apology has been offered.

The fog’s first official act was to request a desk and a humidifier. The request is currently pending review by the Finance Committee.