Morning position The world remains open, although several departments have asked what for.

An official weighs sweets beside a pumpkin bucket in a municipal office.

Lead dispatch · Consumer Desk

Households Issued Confectionery Credit Ratings Ahead of Halloween

Porch assessments will help children distinguish a temporary candy shortage from a structural inability to provide a second piece.

The Official Record · October 25, 2026

Foreign Desk

Summit Concludes With Item Fourteen, Delegations Dance for Forty-Eight Seconds

It is the only item on the agenda that was completed, and the footage is now the record of the summit.

Foreign Desk

Ghanaian Navy Completes Strike on Antarctic Iceberg; Iceberg Continues Drifting North on Schedule

Defence officials describe the operation as a success because the target failed to retaliate, while the iceberg remains unharmed and unaware of the incident. Asked why, the ministry said it had annoyed them.

Foreign Desk

Kremlin Attributes Odour Reports to a Double, Describing the President’s Own as Roses

The press service said any incident reported by delegates occurred in the presence of a substitute. The President’s own emissions, the statement said, are floral, and have been since 2011.